We are gathered here today to feel the suffering of the intense, withered faced North American Muscovy duck hens that sit on their eggs to only hatch maybe one or two, as most of the eggs will roll away and be eaten by predators.
Those cuties don't stand a chance.
Oh yeah! I intended to start off by saying that......
Chicken Duck wrote me a letter recently!!!!! Want to know what was inscribed on it?!
Dear Earthling of Planet Earthdom,
I will eat you for breakfast, lunch, aaaaaannnd dinner. It will be the most delectable delight that any unborn duckling could ever deliberately and disdainfully dream of..before it has reached its true demise. Muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And more evil laughs. Oh yes..ahahaha.
Yours truly,
Chicken Duck
....
Oh d-d-d-dear. I thought Chicken Duck was supposed to be a super hero...or a good guy? Or some masked crusader who will come flying in and land on my stoop in Portland to visit me from time to time. Not some bloody lusty, cackling creature of the night! All I can think of is blood dripping from his chops..I mean beak. Like ooze, slowly revealing a coagulated coat of hemoglobin wonders. Oh dear is right. Chicken Duck has turned to the Dark Side!
I need to go stretch this stress out! I started flexibility class with the goal to one day do the splits again.
Until we meet again, Daily Duckers. Stay safe out there. Ravenous ducks could be hiding behind any corner or bush.
Sincerely yours,
The Daily Duck
